Who Exists...

You don't, imaginary reader. You don't exist. I wish you did. I really wish you existed. Do I even?

We spend our whole lives on the assumption that we are something. We assume, hey I'm here, I'm me, I'm alive, and I'll make something of myself. That's why we go on with our lives and work and learn and everything. But what if we thought we were nothing. What if we just realized, you know, I don't matter. Why bother? I probably don't even exist. Sounds depressing huh? But I assure you I'm not depressed, I'm a thinker.

I spend my life waiting for someone to show up that deep down I know doesn't exist. I mean, this blog has no readers. I wish deeply that I had one person to comment and say "Hey Anomii, I know you're here. You do exist. And that person will come. He does exist." Thing is, imaginary reader, you don't exist. You are one of the people I wait and hope for. But you will never come.

Another person I wait for is my dream guy. In a way he does exist. He is based off of a person who is real. In fact he is very real: I know him personally. But I have taken the idea of him and blown it up in my mind. I, in reality, know nothing about him. I know what he looks like, and I know his age and the town he lives in and his parents and thats it. Though I have turned this very real person into a man who will never come. I make him out to be this perfect guy; my best friend, and yet, romantic. And I wait for the day this real guy I know will come and turn into my nonexistent guy. But he never will come. And neither will you.

I wish you existed. I wish he existed. I wish I had proof that I existed. I wish for a lot of things, but none will come. And yet I still hope for them to come because if I don't I have nothing to work toward. And so I wait and hope for nonexistent people to exist.

Life is not a waste, like sometimes it might seem. Life is magical and special and important. Make the best of it. Enjoy the people in your life who do exist, and do not dwell on those who don't. To be cliche, live life to the fullest.

But how should I know? I don't exist.

Who Doesn't Complain...

I can't even tell you, nonexistent reader, how much I hate people who complain. And it's not the complaining that gets me. As I have said, I am a great actress and I can pretend to care every single time with ease. What bothers me is what they complain about. Like their lives are so horrible. Oh yeah, well, I don't want to hear it. There are so so so so so many more people out there in the world with actually issues to complain about. And things to be sad and distressed about. The things you complain about are nothing in comparison to this. And I'll give you a nice example to explain better:

My friend will always email me about her boyfriend and how things are at a "low point" in their relationship right now. She will always complain about this girl who talk to him, and that he talks back. Gasp, how dare a boy with a girlfriend talk to other girls. No offense, but I don't want to hear it. Actually, take offense. You have absolutely no right to be complaining about this to me. You have a boyfriend you are madly in love with, a family who spoils you, you are young and beautiful, and you have a perfect life. How dare you think that you have such a hard time because your boyfriend talks to another girl. Really?! There is so much more to worry about in the world and you chose THAT?

And I urge her all the time to break up with him in efforts to stop this complaining, but she never will. Of course not. She has a perfect life. Why break up with your perfect boyfriend? No need.

So I urge all of you nonexistent readers to consider this: you have a computer and internet access to get to this blog and you are complaining about your life?

You don't deserve to complain. Instead of complaining, help. Help those who have a right to complain because they need support much more than you do. Trust me.

Who Can Act...

No one knows me. But everyone is my friend. No one understands me, but everyone says they do. Why is this? Because I am an actress. I have been acting in a theatre setting for years but I have been acting like a person I am not for my whole life. If i were to really truly honestly be myself (which I am not even around my best friends) no one would get me, like me, or want to be my friend. So here is where the acting skills come in handy. Whenever I have to pretend to like someone or pretend to be happy or have a good time, I tell myself that it is just an acting exercise. And it does the trick every time. I always get through it. I can put up with people I hate so easily and I can pretend to have any emotion when the time calls for it. This talent I suggest everyone develops. It makes me..... me.

I'm always on the look out for someone like me out there to share my deep thoughts with honestly... another actor. But I have come across many actors in my time none of which are anything like me. This is the problem of being unique.

Recently my school just received 3 new students, and I love new students! And I never really knew why. I mean, they are strangers coming into and possibly altering my life that I have built up for years. Why would I, or anyone, welcome this? I'll tell you why. I have hopes that one of these new kids will be like me. I know everyone in my grade, and I know they are not like me, so I always have the hope to find the friend I have been looking for. But alas they never come. And it kills me every time.

Being unique is the loneliest job in the world. But acting like it's not helps you get through it miraculously.